Coming Soon Trailers: Allegiant, Miracles From Heaven, The Preppie Connection

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Coming Soon Trailers

Sorry, bad actress, already done so.
Sorry, bad actress, already done so.

We’ve been given a bit of an intermission this week.  Only two new wide releases are aimed at your local theater, while just one new title is making its way to Video On Demand.  The second to last film in the Divergent series is landing this weekend, but the so-so numbers for this by-the-numbers young adult dystopian flick hardly seem calendar clearing.  In another baffling move, we have another faith-based film heading to the box office, joining both Risen and The Young Messiah.  Given last weekend’s numbers, that appears to be two too many Christian flicks for their audience base to sustain.

In the home market, we get an adaptation of the true story of a boarding school kid who became an international drug smuggler just to fit in with his rich peers.  Seeing as this tale was ripped from the headlines…of 1984…I can’t really see it turning a lot of heads.

Wide Release

The Divergent Series:  Allegiant

Katniss Everdeen, er, Tris Prior leads her squad of teenage rabble-rousers outside of the fenced mega-city in order to find freedom from the caste system imposed by the state.  Once outside, she finds a world in ruins, and a mysterious organization that offers her shelter.  At a price.

When to See It:  Never.  This series has failed to create any compelling arguments for its continued existence, despite stealing the majority of its plot from better books/films.  Critics are already lining up to savage this installment in particular, and I would like to personally donate a shovelful of dirt to throw on the coffin of these cookie-cutter YA flicks.

Miracles From Heaven

After a young girl is stricken with a rare disease, a mysterious cure (caused by falling out of a fricking tree!) leads her family and community to suspect someone upstairs is looking out for them.  But, you know…not looking out for them enough to spare them a horrendous illness…or to keep a sick little girl from falling out of a damn tree…but you know what, these films never make any goddamn sense anyway.

When to See It:  Never.  Just what we don’t need more of in this society:  miracle cures backed by fierce momma bears who don’t trust science or medicine.  I know Jennifer Garner has been throwing some shade at her ex, Ben Affleck, but one of them is starring in a god-bothering miracle movie that nobody is going to see, and the other is playing BATMAN and getting to punch Superman in the face.  So make your own call about who landed on their feet after the break up.

Video On Demand

The Preppie Connection

A blue collar kid starts dealing drugs to his rich peers at a posh boarding school in order to curry favor, but soon finds himself at the center of a big-money distribution racket that takes him all the way to Colombia.

See It:  Yes, when it hits the cheap rentals.  Thomas Mann made a name for himself in many circles with his past role in Me Earl and the Dying Girl, but the director is a bit of an unknown quantity.  And that title?  Did AC Slater have writing credits on this project!?

Yeah, you know it!
Yeah, you know it!

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