Coming Soon Trailers: Eddie the Eagle, Gods of Egypt, Triple 9

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Coming Soon Trailers

Coming Soon Trailers Gods of Egypt
The ancient version of the jumping the shark, I presume.

This week we get to the first movie of the year that was on our Least Anticipated Films of 2016 list:  Gods of Egypt.  Between the poor CGI, silly plot, and blatant white-washing, I have a feeling will be discussing this movie again come Monday…talking about the first major bust of the 2016 cycle.  In Video On Demand land, we have many, many documentaries.  Hope you brought your pen and notebook.

Wide Releases

Eddie the Eagle

A well intentioned but luckless young man enters the 1988 Calgary Olympics as the first British competitor in the ski jump competition.  Despite less than stellar results, his determination and positive attitude endear him to fans and competitors alike.

When to See It:  Rent It.  Looks a like a solid sports drama/comedy, in the vein of Cool Runnings.  It’s nice to have something light and uplifting after all of the heavy Oscar dramas.

Gods of Egypt

The god of darkness, Set (Gerard Butler) deposes the rightful ruler of Egypt and sets himself up as the only legitimate god in the land.  A street-wise thief (Aladdin?) and the brooding former god Horus team up to depose the tyrannical and lily white god of Egypt.

When to See It:  Never.  Run screaming from this historical disaster.  The studio is already projecting that this turkey is going to make 15 million dollars this weekend…on a 140 million budget.  Looks like somebody needed a big tax write-off before April…

Triple 9

After a brazen mid-day robbery, a dirty cop and his crew of thieves set their sights on the biggest heist of their careers. The only problem is that they’re saddled with a new rookie officer who is as straight as an arrow.  Taking lemons and making criminal lemonade, they plan to execute the caper and leave the rookie holding the bag.

When to See It:  Rent it.  I love me a good heist film, and the cast here is top-notch:  Chiwetel Ejiofor, Casey Affleck, Norman Reedus, Kate Winslet and Anthony Mackie,  not to mention hit-or-miss master Woody Harrelson.  My only concern is that this feels a tad more “Bad Boys” than “The French Connection.”  If word of mouth is good, should be worth a matinee.

Video on Demand

The Last Man on the Moon

This documentary explores the significance, both personal and historical, of Eugene Cernan, the last astronaut to personally set foot on the moon.

See It:  Yes.  Space exploration has never been more important, so get a fly on the wall perspective about how manned missions effect both the travelers and those of us watching at home.

King Georges

Another documentary, this one explores the life of Georges Perrier, a French chef who is struggling to keep his traditional cuisine relevant in Philadelphia after 40 years of service.

See It:  No.  There’s been a spate of documentaries and dramas about the vicious struggle of earning and keeping Michelin stars at a fancy restaurant.  I know these chefs work hard, but in these times where most people can’t make enough money for a trip to The Sizzler, exploring expensive cuisine seems particularly tin-eared.

Marguerite and Julien

Two dilettante aristocratic siblings begin an illicit sexual affair, based upon an actual historical case in the 17th century (though this film has updated the setting to more contemporary times.)  Nothing good comes of it.

See It:  No.  Do the French make movies about anything other than sex?  If you look at the foreign films section of Netflix, you get one soft-core French movie after another.  They do know that the internet is a thing, right?  If you want to see people getting frisky and breaking taboos, you can just google it instead of making a feature length film.

Expanding

Movie Review: 2016 Oscar Nominated Short FilmsThis week, you can finally catch most of the Oscar nominations on streaming services.  The Short Films have been collected into four feature length segments (Animated Shorts, Live Action Shorts, Documentaries A and B,) and many of the feature films have also finally gone into streaming.  The Revenant, The Big Short, and Brooklyn are still unavailable, however.

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