Coming Soon Trailers: Star Wars – The Force Awakens, Sisters, Alvin and the Chipmunks Road Chip

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Coming Soon Trailers

Coming soon trailersWell, we had to wait all year for it, but at long last a new Alvin and the Chipmunks Star Wars movie is here.  Had you heard?  I’m sure you haven’t seen the trailers for it either…

There are two other wide releases suicidal enough to go up against the behemoth from a galaxy far far away.  Let’s just say their prospects are less than rosy.  On paper a kids movie and a movie targeting ladies should be pulling from a separate demographic than Star Wars, but let’s face it, everyone who wants to see a movie this weekend is going to see The Force Awakens.  If you hate long lines and geeks wearing costumes, there are a couple of VOD releases this week as well.  See, got you covered.

Wide Releases

Star Wars – The Force Awakens

A new evil has risen to power in the vacuum caused by the death of the emperor.  A fanatic bent on completing Darth Vader’s work has cobbled together an army from the imperial remnants and a trio of unlikely heroes must search out the last remaining Jedi in order to stop him.

When to See It:  In Theaters…next week.  If you don’t already have tickets reserved, good luck getting in to see this thing before the holidays.  At least by then you can probably hope to watch it without having to look over a dude dressed as Chewbacca, or listen to the omnipresent hum of a hundred toy light-sabers.  Instead of shutting of your cell phone, the opening warning should tell people to shut off the respirators on their Darth Vader masks…

Sisters

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are sisters who have grown apart as adults.  When their parents want to sell their childhood home, they reunite to clean out their old room and grow nostalgic for their rebellious youth.  The only responsible course of action is to gather their old friends and throw a giant party.  Naturally.

When to See It:  Netflix.  Kind of shocked this isn’t premiering there anyway.  Fey and Poehler are great on the small screen, but neither really has had much success at the box office.  Don’t expect this movie to change that streak.

Alvin and the Chipmunks The Road Chip

Another Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.  Why people, why?

When to See It:  Never.  Never ever.  You don’t need to see it.  You’re children don’t need to see it.  Between this and Mall Rats 2, Jason Lee is officially dead to me.

Video On Demand

The Emperor’s New Clothes

Erratic comedian Russell Brand takes a scathing look at the financial disaster and bank bailouts that resulted from it, and puts some of the malefactors behind the meltdown on the hot seat…because I guess if we can’t prosecute these jackasses we can at least suffer them to be in the same room as Russell Brand.

Noma:  My Perfect Storm

A film that looks at the trials and triumphs of Rene Redzepi, the celebrated restaurateur who has four times captured the award for best restaurant in the world.  What megalomaniac even came up with the title for that award (or this film, for that matter?)

Anguish

A young woman is diagnosed with a mental disorder…that may actually be an evil spirit.  Really?  We’re going back in time to when mental illness was believed to be caused by evil spirits?  See, anti-vaxers, this is what your rejection of science gets us!

 

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