Terse Trailers: Brothers Grimbsy, Hardcore Henry,TMNT 2

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Terse Trailers

This week we have another slew of red-headed step children on the trailers world. I’m not saying that these films will be bad, but you will definitely wait out the reviews.

The Brothers Grimbsy

Sacha Baron Coen is a bit of an enigma. No one can doubt his talent, creativity and absurdity. Borat (Production cost 18 million Gross: 128M) was a smash hit, Sacha’s follow ups 2009’s Bruno (Production cost: 42 million, gross 59M) and 2012’sThe Dictator (Production cost 65 million another 59M in box office revenue) didn’t generate the shock value that Borat delivered and subsequently derailed the hype train that was Sacha Baron Coen.He needs a win here.

Sony’s synopsis:

MI6’s top assassin (Mark Strong) has a brother. Unfortunately for him, he’s an English football supporter (Sacha Baron Cohen) from the town of Grimsby. Nobby has everything a man from the poor English fishing town of Grimsby could want – 9 children and the most attractive girlfriend in northern England (Rebel Wilson). There’s only one thing missing in his life: his little brother, Sebastian. After they were adopted by different families as children, Nobby spent 28 years searching for him. Upon hearing of his location, Nobby sets off to reunite with his brother, unaware that not only is his brother an MI6 agent, but he’s just uncovered a plot that puts the world in danger. On the run and wrongfully accused, Sebastian realizes that if he is going to save the world, he will need the help of its biggest idiot.

 

See It? No thanks. Perhaps on VOD but that may be a stretch. While the Dictator and Bruno weren’t financial or critical sucesses, I still got a few laughs from them. I’ll give Sacha another chance before writing him off.

Hardcore Henry

Well Hardcore Henry pretends to be something a bit different in hollywood, being completely shot in first person. Unfortunately all movie-goers aren’t morons and realize this has been done at least a dozen times. Shit, Strange Days did it back 1995. Blair Witch did it justice as well, and 2005’s Doom well, lets not talk about that..

STX Entertainment Synopsis:

Hardcore Henry is an action film told from a first person perspective: You remember nothing. Mainly because you’ve just been brought back from the dead by your wife (Haley Bennett). She tells you that your name is Henry. Five minutes later, you are being shot at, your wife has been kidnapped, and you should probably go get her back. Who’s got her? His name’s Akan; he’s a powerful warlord with an army of mercenaries, and a plan for world domination. You’re also in an unfamiliar city of Moscow, and everyone wants you dead. Everyone except for a mysterious British fellow called Jimmy. He may be on your side, but you aren’t sure. If you can survive the insanity, and solve the mystery, you might just discover your purpose and the truth behind your identity. Good luck, Henry. You’re likely going to need it…

See It?  Skip it. Hardcore Henry looks fun, but honestly it really doesn’t do anything for me. Hero get brought back to life, lover gets taken, Hero get mad. murderous rampage ensues.. Pass.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

FML.. Another TMNT turd by Michael Bay. While I love the franchise, nothing that Michael Bay does is worth a shit. Nothing… Yes we get Rocksteady and Bebop in this incarnation of TMNT, and that almost has me intrigued, but I am sure Michael Bay will further ruin my childhood with this movie.

Nickelodeon Synopsis: Well Nickelodeon clearly could give two fucks as there isn’t even a synopsis out for this “film”. I can assure you that there will be many explosions, shitty dialogue and zero substance.

See It? Everything in the world will tell you to skip it and am 100% sure this film is dog shit, but it’s like a car wreck, you gotta slow down and look. However fuck Michael Bay, I’ll wait to this shit is free on Amazon or Netflix.

 

 

 

 

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