Terse Trailers: The Magnificent 7, Rogue One, Angry Birds

Spread the love

Terse Trailers

Another week another batch of rotten trailers. In an effort to save you a few bucks, here at Deluxe Video Online we track down the worst of the worst. In this week’s trailers we have a remake of a remake, A fuck you to fans of the Star Wars EU, and an inexplicable movie of a franchise that was popular three years ago..

Terse Trailers
Hollywood thrives on fanboy tears

The Magnificent 7

So what we have here is a remake of The Magnificent Seven that is also a remake of Akira Kurosawa Seven Samurai. I knew it was a matter of time before the Magnificent 7 was rebooted/remade and on cue this piece of shit is primed to be released.

I can’t say that I’m mad at the casting, as The Mavnifiecent 7 led by Denzel Washington  boasts some heavyweights, and director Antoine Fuqua is no joke. However this remake still rubs me the wrong way. Perhaps it’s Chris Pratts smile, or perhaps it’s the lighthearted nature that Warner Bros takes with this adaption. With the original Seven Samurai film and to a lesser extent the Magnificent 7, there was an underlying tone of dread and despair that appears to be devoid in this magnificent turd to me. I’ll wait on VOD.

 

Rogue One

Tough to say anything negative about this one, when you hear a piano added to John Williams legendary score. I’ts Star Wars and if you are like me, as soon as you hear the theme you melt, and any objectivity is compromised. This is why I purchased both of Force Unleashed games, Rogue Squadrons etc.. John William’s instrumental is the bell of Pavlov’s Law, and we are the dogs.

I am going to call bullshit here however, While I’ll still catch Rogue one in the theatres, I will not be happy about it for a couple of reasons..

First off I’m still pissed off about Disney’s abortion of the original expanded universe. I realized this is something I needed to get over once The Force Awakens past a kabillion dollars in ticket sales. Do all the crowdfunding you want, Disney is not going to turn back now..

My issue with Rogue One is not only does Disney say fuck canon, but we institute another female into the lead role.. Listen folks, I’m as progressive as one can be, but I can smell marketing bullshit a mile away. Disney is targeting young girls as they know they already have the male population locked down.

While I am thrilled to see Forrest Whitaker and Donnie Yen casted in Rogue One, I’m all set with Felicity Jones as our heroine..

 

 

Angry Birds

Fuck you Hollywood. Fuck you..

Unless Columbia Pictures installs TV screens in everyone’s bathrooms, this movie is going to bomb terribly. I can’t speak for everyone but I have never touched this game unless I was pooping.. I feel that I am not alone in this phenomena..

To be fair, I did get a few chuckles out of the trailer..

Badass Trailer Of the Week

 

One Comment

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Website Protected by Spam Master


Prove you are human * Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.

CommentLuv badge