Coming Soon Trailers: Alien – Covenant, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 4.

Coming Soon Trailers: Alien - Covenant, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 4.

Coming Soon Trailers: Alien – Covenant, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 4.

Coming Soon Trailers: Alien - Covenant, Diary of a Wimpy Kid 4.Wow, talk about sequel fatigue: this week we get the fourth Wimpy Kid flick and fifth Alien movie (not counting any “Vs. Predators” nonsense or Prometheus.)  One new property makes a wide release, Everything Everything, though it’s based on a novel, so don’t pat Hollywood on the back too hard.

On the home market, we have five new releases.  As far as I know, none of them are sequels…so we’ve got that going for us.

Wide Release.

Alien:  Covenant.

A semi-sequel to Prometheus and prequel to 1979’s Alien, we join a crew aboard a colony ship called Covenant that runs into a tiny problem involving a murderous alien infestation.

See It?:  IMAX or bust.

Ridley Scott has proven one thing to me lately:  he makes technically gorgeous movies that are not exactly great story-wise.  I’m expecting this film to be the same.  If you’re at all interested in the franchise still, you should pony up the extra green to see Scott at his most visually impressive…cause based on Prometheus, the story may be less enthralling than the sights.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid:  The Long Haul.

Greg (the wimpy kid I assume?) is less interested in going to Grandma’s 90th birthday party than in attending a sweet video game convention.  As he tries to hijack the family road trip, hilarity ensues.

See It?:  Are you 12?

I was shocked, I say shocked, to discover this was the 4th film in the franchise.  They’ve been cranking these out under cover of darkness, it would seem.  The franchise continues to earn decently, so they’re doing something right.  If you’re a fan of the books or other movies, go ahead and pay them their blood money.  If not, the trailer doesn’t really do much to sell this bog standard road trip comedy. A smarmy kid who talks to the audience? Thanks, Clarissa.

Everything, Everything.

A young woman with a serious medical condition is confined to her room and has never been outside. A young man moves in next door and they form a bond through text messages and photos that blossoms into romance. When she decides to risk her life by going outside with him, she only has so much time to live the perfect day before her condition catches up to her.

See It?:  Rent it.

I appreciate the most aspects of this movie.  It has an interracial relationship front and center, but doesn’t treat it like its any big deal.  The performances are a tad off, either over dramatic or too timid, but mostly fine.  As a star crossed lovers story, it has some novel features.  I just hate that it treats living with the realities of a disease as victimizing.  If it tries to tell us that love can overcome genetic disorders, I’m out.

Video On Demand.

Special Blood.

A documentary following several patients with a rare blood disorder.  It tells their story and examines their fight with the current healthcare situation in the United States.

See It?:  Netflix it.

So…kind of a depressing week for movies about incurable diseases.  This looks well made and not overly biased or heavy handed with its messaging.  Solid enough, but would still wait for it to hit streaming.


A well-off family takes a boat ride during their island vacation, only to end up shipwrecked on a deserted island.  A local fisherman offers to rescue them, for a steep price and takes some of the family as collateral.

See It?:  Burn it with fire.

Wow.  Was the working title “why white people are totally right to be afraid of brown people”?  Rich white guy has to be the hero, thanks to the nefarious poor black fisherman and the corrupt black police force.  Projecting much?

The New Adventures of Aladdin.

A real-life thief is confronted by children when he tries to rob a department store dressed as Santa.  The kids want to hear the tale of Aladdin, because hey, why not.  As Sam tells his version of it, we follow Sam as Aladdin on a magical journey.

See It?:  WTF?

This is the story of Aladdin, if the guys from Kung Pow: Enter the First got a hold of it.  Some of the glib jokes and crazy pop culture references hit, but the sheer volume of them and the wacky voice work are just too much.  It also seems to hop over the border of racial jokes too frequently.  Skip it.

Kill Switch.

A pilot must race against disaster in a virtual world when an experiment to harness multiple dimensions goes awry.  If he can’t get his package to a tower in time to collapse the worm hole, both the virtual and real world will be destroyed.

See It?:  Skip it.

An iffy science fiction plot gets hijacked by a first person format that looks like it was taken from a video game.  While I enjoyed it in Hardcore Henry, that project had obvious self awareness and great action paired with awesome music.  This one has nice graphics, but feels lethargic.  How many shots in the trailer are just a person standing around looking at some obvious CG artifact?

The Commune.

Two upper-class professionals in Copenhagen decide to establish a commune with like-minded individuals.  Things are going along fine until an affair threatens to destroy the group.

See It?:  Burn it with fire.

Who in the heck cares about this premise?  Rich entitled snots try to spice up their first world problematic lives by inviting strangers to live with them and *gasp* something goes wrong?  Sigh.  And that something is the rich entitled dick of a husband inviting his mistress to the commune?  Double sigh.



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