Coming Soon Trailers: Burnt, Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
It is the final week of October, and apparently Hollywood is perfectly happy to go out on a whimper. We’ve watched new releases die gruesome deaths this month, with The Martian and Goosebumps being the only survivors. I don’t expect much to change this frame, as we’ve got trailers for three pretty weak wide releases, and a spate of VOD picks so anemic I’m not even going to waste any more ink on them.
A talented but self absorbed chef (Bradley Cooper) flames out and ends up a drug and alcohol fueled mess. Nearly a decade later, his reputation a mess, he gets clean and decides to prove his critics wrong by taking his new restaurant to the pinnacle of culinary heights.
When to See It: Never. Watching the trailer, all I could think was “does Bradley Cooper really need another vanity project?” Plus, a film about the food service industry and alcoholism? I thought I went to the movies to get away from real life!
Our Brand is Crisis
Based upon a documentary, this film follows political adviser Jane Bodine (Sandra Bullock) as she is sent to Bolivia to aid a local politician in his bid for the presidency. Facing a well funded and well staffed opponent, Jane has to teach her candidate how to work the electoral system like an American.
When to See It: Netflix, if you really like Sandra Bullock or political satire, otherwise never. Base on real life does not mean based on interesting material. With the political circus that is our own presidential contest going on, I don’t really think watching paid politicos exporting our toxic process abroad is going to be a heart-warming affair.
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
Scouts vs. Zombies, with strippers, zombie cats, and twenty-something actors pretending to be teenagers.
When to See It: Redbox. Seems just good enough for a guilty pleasure, but just too similar to films like Zombieland, This is the End, and Bloodsucking Bastards. Hell, I’d probably rent Deathgasm before this flick. Not really sure how this got a wide release, but that R rating is going to chop this film’s audience in half…what little there was going to be. Hope all of the gratuitous nudity was worth half your earnings, boys.