Coming Soon Trailers: Cars 3, Rough Night, All Eyez on Me.
A raunchy comedy, a biopic, a kids cartoon and a shark movie walk into a bar…
Well, you have to hand it to Hollywood, at least this weekend has variety. I can’t say that many of the films on offer have me terribly excited but at least there is a wide range of topics to choose from. After last summers disappointing shark flick, The Shallows, I’m not hopeful for the genre. As we talked about last weekend on the Movie News Podcast, Rough Night looks to be a rough watch. Cars is the Pixar series that just won’t die despite nobody liking it. Finally, we get a Tupac biopic after the success of last year’s NWA biopic Straight Outta Compton.
On the home market we have a much more reasonable 5 films after last weeks VOD bonanza. There’s a crime drama, a crime comedy, a horror flick, and a monster bee movie that just looks like a crime against cinema. Let’s get cracking.
A new rival causes Lightning McQueen to lose faith in his racing abilities. Down and out, he meets a young technician with a plan to get him back in shape and back in the fast lane.
See It?: No.
This Cars meets Rocky mash-up is running on fumes. The characters have never been likable, the animation has never been Pixar’s finest, and the story is limping around on four flat tires. They’re trying to go gritty in this outing, but I just can’t get excited for a racing movie where the cars obey cartoon logic. It just looks silly, but not in a way kids will like. Fail all around.
Five friends get together for a bachelorette party, but things go wrong when they kill the male stripper. Now they have one weekend to get themselves out of hot water.
See It?: Hell no.
So after doing a gender swap with Ghostbusters, now Kate McKinnon is doing a gender swap with Very Bad Things? This isn’t a new premise and the cast does not seem to have any chemistry. Scarlett Johansson seems to think she is making a real movie while McKinnon seems to think she’s making a skit for SNL. Avoid this doomed comedy.
47 Meters Down.
Two sisters on vacation go cage diving to witness a Great White Shark up close. An accident breaks the cage free of the boat, and the two are stranded underwater while surrounded by hungry sharks.
See It?: Rent it.
Between the so-so visuals and the no-name cast, I don’t know how this film didn’t go straight to streaming. I guess every summer needs a cookie-cutter shark movie.
All Eyez on Me.
A dramatic telling of the rise and fall of rap superstar Tupac Shakur.
See It?: Wait for Reviews.
I know Erik and I are going to see this film, as Tupac is one of Erik’s heroes…but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good movie. There’s so much legend and conspiracy attached to Tupac, it will be interesting to see what the film maker chooses to show. It could be powerful, or it could be overblown. Wait for the all-clear signal.
Video on Demand.
A documentary that looks in to the mysterious disappearances of children in the Great Crater Lake national park area.
See It?: Netflix it.
There’s a faint hint of conspiracy theory mongering coming off of this, but it manages to restrain itself mostly to the facts. A compelling story though this movie doesn’t do much cinematically.
After a natural disaster hits the American west coast, giant killer bees appear that can turn a person into a zombee with their sting.
See It?: Ha Ha Ha…nope.
Get this Sharknado/Birdemic bullshit out of here. Lousy acting, craptacular CG and a brain dead plot, all trying to be the next infamously bad-on-purpose B movie. Fuck off.
Twenty years after graduation, the members of a high school drama club agree to get together with their friends and spouses and have a reunion party. Too much alcohol and old feelings lead to an uncomfortably honest weekend.
See It?: No.
The acting is just passable, and with a premise this screenwriter-101, it needs to be better than passable. I didn’t see a single character worth caring about despite that being the entire hook of these type of films.
A war photographer returns home, suffering from PTSD. As he tries to take photos of normal settings, he winds up capturing horrific images of people about to die. Struggling with sanity and occult powers, he descends into madness.
See It?: Rent it.
The dialogue can be a bit clunky and the acting is a tad stilted in places, but I liked enough of what I saw to earn a rental. It does some interesting things with a limited budget and limited talent.
Once Upon a Time in Venice.
A private eye has to team up with an old friend who has a death wish in order to steal a stash of drugs for the local gang that has kidnapped his dog. Got it?
See It?: Yes?
OK. This movie is obviously in on the joke of its loony tunes premise. The characters are all being played over the top and gonzo. I think it has enough talent, especially from John Goodman, to pull this fiasco off. This may be the “so bad it’s good” flick of the summer.