Coming Soon Trailers: Minions, Self/Less, Boulevard

 Coming Soon Trailers

boulevardTime once again to get a head start on the weekend with our Coming Soon Trailers’ preview of upcoming films.  We’ll give you the lowdown on the major releases, as well as a sneak peak of some limited release films that may be coming to an art house cinema (or Video on Demand!) near you.

This week we’ve got a trio of wide release films hoping for your attention, as well as a pair of limited release movies that should definitely be on your radar, especially Boulevard, as it is the last on-screen performance from the late and dearly missed Robin Williams.


The adorable, myopic minions from the Despicable Me franchise are back, this time without Gru/Steve Carrell for support and dastardly guidance.  An origins tale (man, it sounds silly talking about the “origins” of demented anthropomorphic Twinkies) Minions tells the tale of the second-fiddle evil doers, from their prehistoric appearance all the way up to modern London, in their genetically mandated search for a boss evil enough for them to serve.

Despite sidelining Carrell, this film seems to be jam-packed with voice talent.  Sandra Bullock seems perfect for the lead role as the world’s first super-villainess, Violet Overkill, and I’m intrigued to see how Geoffry Rush and Michael Keaton’s talents are used in this project.

When to See It:  In Theaters, if you have any tolerance for animated tomfoolery.  This is a great franchise, and while prequels usually suck hard, straying away from Gru and putting the emphasis on the Minions (plus a bevy of historically twisted baddies) looks like a way to keep this film from falling into the prequel rut.


A rich architect (Ben Kingsley, and no I won’t call you Sir Ben Kingsley until you stop making rubbish movies!) is on deaths door when a shady medical company offers him the gift of immortality.  All he has to do is upload his brain into the comatose body of a handsome young vegetable (Ryan Reynolds) who the malicious scientists assure us is in a coma because of totally non-sinister reasons.  Predictably, something goes wrong, and the young man’s memories begin to intrude upon those of his host, painting a shocking (but once again, predictable) story of a ruthless bio-med company willing to acquire “subjects” at any cost.

Ripped from the headlines (well, the supermarket checkout headlines, anyway) this film should feel angsty and topical.  We’ve got face transplants, robotic limbs, and rumors of full head transplants all over the news, but this film looks to be dead set on firmly ignoring the bleeding-edge iffy science of their topic in favor of glamor shots of Ryan Reynolds on a boat and an ad-hoc thriller about body-snatching.

When to See It:  Netflix.  Guarantee this film will make your queue before you even realize you missed it in theaters.  I want to like this film for the creepy science, but it just seems too fluffy and enamored with being a cheesy thriller.  Looks like I won’t be calling Ben “Sir” anytime soon.

The Gallows

A group of teens break into a theater and attempt to revive an ill-fated stage production of The Gallows, which was last performed 20 years ago and never completed, do to constant tragedies plaguing the productions.

You’ve seen this film already.  This is just another shaky-cam, jump scare riddled, found-footage disaster, made the by same people who brought you the last two series to abuse and over-use those exact same tactics (Insidious and Paranormal Activity.)

When to See It:  Never.  Stop giving these hacks your money.  They’re pile-driving these lazy paint-by-number films into the grave by releasing endless brainless iterations on the genre.  Be smarter than the teens in this movie, and abandon the cursed drama, unseen, forever.


Robin Williams stars as Nolan Mack, a quiet man living a quiet life of anonymity.  He’s worked the same bank job for so long, even his co-workers think he should try a change of pace.  His marriage is also on automatic pilot.  While he and his wife do not fight, there is a huge canyon between them that Nolan seems happy to keep on the far side of.  Heading home, Nolan takes a wrong turn and is propostioned by a young male prostitute.  His answer to that proposal begins to tear down the facade of his former life, making way for something frightening but new.

This project turns on Williams’ acting chops.  His ability to play both quiet and manic is at center stage, and looks to turn what could be either a maudlin or sentimental picture into quite an experience.

When to See It:  Video on Demand…with a couple of scotches in your bloodstream.  This film looks emotionally devastating, and is there any better way to confront deep feelings than with a thick veneer of alcohol?  Is there?  I’m really asking here…

The Suicide Theory

An apparently suicidal man hires a professional killer for the oddest contract of his career:  kill the man whose paying him.  At first, the killer is amused and dismissive of the man, but as one after another of his hits fail to accomplish the job, he begins to become terrified.  With his handler breathing down his neck for being too incompetent to kill a harmless target, our professional has to get creative and desperate to finally deliver on his promise to end the client’s life.

By a young director and mostly unknown cast, The Suicide Theory does an excellent job of grabbing you viscerally with its visual style, stark colors, and penchant for clipped dialogue.  I could Guy Ritchie or Quentin Tarantino penning this dialogue, with is an excellent start for a noir-ish thriller with an intriguing supernatural element.

When to See It:  Video on Demand, day of release.  Hell, I’ve already got it pre-loaded on Amazon Prime, just waiting for the hourglass to tick down to zero so I can watch this bad boy.

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