Coming Soon Trailers: Sully, When the Bough Breaks, The Disappointments Room.
Fall is in full swing with four wide releases this week, but very little is making its way to VOD.
Clint Eastwood apparently took a break from yelling at chairs and pissing on millennials and found the time to make a movie with Tom Hanks. Kate Beckinsale apparently took a break from shitty vampire movies (don’t worry, she’s back at it again next spring with Underworld 5!) to make a horror movie people are already predicting to re-bankrupt the studio that made it. There’s a budget animated film about Robinson Crusoe from the perspective of the animals he meets on his deserted island. We also get the fourth movie with the title “When the Bough Breaks”, yet none of them are remakes.
In VOD land, we get only one new film. Apparently indie producers saw the box office forecasts and decided to sit most of September out, since there is not a ton coming our way this month.
The dramatization of the story of Capt. “Sully” Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) who landed his disabled plane in the Hudson River. He became a national hero on the talk show circuits, but faced a potentially career ending internal investigation due to the incident.
See It: Nope.
Remember the huge news story about the FAA investigation into this event? No? Well that’s probably because nobody gave a crap about it. “The Miracle on the Hudson” was a feel good story with a ten second shelf life. We must be out of proper subjects for dramatic biopics already. Plus, Clint Eastwood is pretty much dead to me after this election cycle. Words have consequences, asshole.
When the Bough Breaks
A couple hoping to have a child run out of options and decide to use a surrogate. The surrogate becomes unusually fixated on the couple, especially the husband, and proceeds to terrorize them.
See It: Rent it.
A sexy and sordid thriller, this one seems like it has enough meat on the bones to justify a rental, though I don’t see enough to justify a trip to the cinema.
The Wild Life
The animals on a deserted island don’t know what to make of their new neighbor: a scruffy and bedraggled human by the name of Robinson Crusoe.
See It: Rent it for the kiddos.
I like the twist on a well known tale, and talking animals sure do seem to entertain, but the small budget of this film shows its stitching. Lionsgate hasn’t managed to do a first rate animated feature yet, though not for lack of trying.
The Disappointments Room
Dana (Beckinsale) and her family move to a quaint southern mansion, hoping to escape their hectic city life. They instead find a spooky ass fixer-upper with a room full of…disappointments I guess? As a bonus, its based on “true events.” Oh joy, another one of those horror movies.
See It: Nope.
Kate Beckinsale is nobody’s pick for a lifetime achievement in great cinema. Frankly, I don’t think she can act her way out of a wet paper bag. Pair this with a hackneyed horror story and meh visuals, and you’ve just put ten dollars back into your pocket by skipping this flick.
Video On Demand
The Royal Road
One part historical documentary, one part experiential mind-trip, this film explores aspects of the many peoples who have made California their home over the centuries.
See It: Wait for it to be free.
We all know how much Netflix likes odd documentaries, you won’t be waiting long for this film to find its way into your in-box. It did well at the indie awards circuit…but seems a tad dull and listless.