Coming Soon Trailers
The last few weeks of August fizzled at the box office while we sizzled through a heat wave. Hopefully September has some relief in store. Our wide releases include a reboot of The Transporter franchise, minus Jason Statham, and an adventure comedy featuring Robert Redford. We’ve got a pair of limited release gems as well, including a historical action/drama from our hero, Jackie Chan.
The Transporter Refueled
Frank Martin (the character from the original Transporter films, now played by Ed Skrein) has semi-retired, now opting to only transporting information instead of femme fatales…until he is roped into transporting a trio of femme fatales. The three are master thieves who force Martin to act as their wheelman after a daring robbery, and the criminal association they have stolen from target Martin in order to get revenge. Unluckily for them, Frank still knows how to punch, kick, and drive like a demon.
When to See It: This has potential, but I’m going to say Rent It. The script is from the guy behind the Taken series, which is a plus, but the new director really doesn’t have much under his belt besides Brick Mansions, which is only notable since it was Paul Walkers last film. If it can manage to be charming instead of brooding, this should be a good time for an evening at home.
A Walk in the Woods
Robert Redford plays a man starring retirement in the face and feeling like his life is slowly bleeding away into irrelevance. Opting for a last great act of defiance, he decides to hike the Appalachian Trail, but is talked into taking a partner by his wiser wife, Emma Thompson. When everyone of his friends laughs in his face, he is forced to recruit an unreliable old acquaintance from school, played by Nick Nolte. The older but not wiser pair head out into the woods for another chance at reliving their glory days.
When to See It: Theaters, matinee preferably. The film is packed with talent, and the comedy feels light and refreshing, arising from the normal pitfalls of aging yet not becoming mean spirited or exploitative. A comedy aimed at the Centrum Silver crowd, this looks to have some heart as well.
Trouble in the Roman Empire leads to war on the Silk Road, causing an exiled general from China (Jackie Chan) to team up with a legion of Roman soldiers led by John Cusack in order to oppose the vastly greater forces of a tyrannical consul (played by Adrien Brody.)
When to See It: If this movie had happened 15-20 years ago, my head would have exploded. All three stars were at the top of their game, and Chinese historical drama’s were becoming the stuff of legend. These days? Chan is getting his mojo back after a decade of safe and silly comedies (and looks like a stud in the promotional material,) but both Cusack and Brody have become something of a joke, making really terrible films left and right. I’m still voting VOD on this, but only when the price comes down to the 5-7 dollar range.
Blood Sucking Bastards
Corporate life sucks, and that sentiment becomes all too real for an anonymous company who has hired a hot-shot sales manager to shake up their lagging sales. Turns out the new guy is a jerk…and a vampire. As profits rise and the body count climbs, a handful of office drones need to embrace their inner Van Helsing and prevent the hostile takeover. The stakes have never been higher! (Ba dum, ching!)
When to See It: VOD (once again, if the price is right.) This feels like Office Space meets Shaun of the Dead, and that is always a good thing…probably. Screams cult classic, which could just be code for “awful in a funny kind of way,” but the trailer gave me enough comedy to want to see more.