Machete Kills

Machete Don’t Tweet In New Machete Kills Trailer

Author: Katey Rich | published: 2013-08-02 09:10:54


Machete Kills is a very real movie, as crazy as that still seems. The unlikely sequel to the unlikely Machete, all based on a fake trailer for the unlikely Robert Rodriguez-Quentin Tarantino collaboration Grindhouse, Machete Kills brings back Danny Trejo as the titular fearless killer. And it’s not like Machete Kills doesn’t know just how crazy its own existence is. Witness this brand-new trailer, which starts off with Charlie Sheen– excuse us, Carlos Estevez– in bed with three women as the President of the United States, ends with Machete throwing a person into a helicopter using a fishing pole, and includes appearances from Lady Gaga, Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibsonand Sofia Vergara’s boob-guns in-between.

That’s a lot to fit into a single film, and these kinds of deliberate schlock throwbacks often work better as trailers than as actual films– no matter how many times you scream “that’s awesome!” watching this, you might be exhausted by it before the 90-minute movie is finished. But Machete Kills, which comes to theaters on October 11, is doing its best to dazzle you with every weapon in its arsenal, from the ridiculous cast to the insane fight scenes to the steely presence of Trejo, a veteran character who tries action hero on for size in the Machete movies, and fits it to a T. In his review of the first film Josh praised Trejo’s ability to “stand anywhere and look as though he’s made of stone,” and he’s back doing pretty much the same thing in this one, along with tossing off one-liners like “Machete don’t tweet” (a nod to the last film’s “Machete don’t text” and “Nobody knows Machete.” They’re great lines that he doesn’t have to oversell an ounce.

How much attention the rest of the cast will be able to get, who knows, though Michelle Rodriguez does pretty damn well with her “I smell fish tacos” line, and any time Lady Gaga makes an appearance she’s going to make sure all eyes are on her. I’ll be most interested to see what happens with Mel Gibson as the film’s villain, attempting to lighten up his image after many years of terrible headlines have made him virtually impossible to cast. He’s got a villainous turn in The Expendables 3 potentially coming up, and if he can pull that off along with the Machete Kills role, it might become possible to think of him as something other than an angry, drunk anti-Semite. Maybe. That’s still a pretty huge hole to climb out of.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.