This Week in Box Office History
TWBOH takes a look at the last 30 years of top grossing movies. Sifting through the celluloid, we review audience preferences and spot the trends in movie watching history. Not much has changed since last week, with audiences preffering the slightly sub par fare of two weeks ago as compared to the completely dreadful offerings seen last weekend. It’s like a bomb went off in theaters across the country. Check out the carnage below.
The Week That Was: Box Office Flop
The movies that released this week need to check themselves for internal bleeding, because they hit the pavement hard. Reality finally caught up to Tyler Perry and his Singles Mom Club cratered spectacularly. With losing his guaranteed deal with Lion’s Gate Studios, it might be the end of the Perry Juggernaut.
Need for Speed limped over the finish line in third place, failing to displace the Spartan, er, Athenian menace of the 300, er 3000…OK, can we talk about how there’s way more dudes than 300 in this terrible movie? Shit, there’s probably more than 300 ships. Could they not take the risk that calling this movie The 3000 would be too intellectually challenging for fans of the original? Ugh, I’m hopefully done talking about this 2009 throwback.
All told, the top dog, Mr. Peabody and Sherman , only managed to take 21 million in ticket sales, so that kind of tells the tale of the weekend. Wasn’t nobody spending money on movies this weekend, and the putrid selection of crud pushed out the door by studios is the big reason why. So what’s on tap for next week?
The Week That Will Be: Predictions
#3: 300: Rise of an Empire: I just said I didn’t want to talk about this movie, but I don’t see any credible alternative for 25 year old white males. Ain’t that some shit? With Muppets and Divergent out this weekend, there is a lack of films targeted at the boys club. Oh the irony…but seriously, enjoy the diversity cause it’s back to swole meatheads dominating the box office soon.
#2: The Muppets: Most Wanted: I think this movie has the chops to be a #1 grossing film…but then you have to factor in the young adult machine. The Muppets admirably reset their franchise, and managed to both gain new fans and reconnect with old…but they still didn’t make a ton of money. I expect Kermit will find it easy being green to the tune of 28 million this week.
#1: Divergent: I want this film to bomb so so bad. I’m tired of the poop and scoop young adult film industry we have, and this movie looks to be a by-the-numbers, brain dead continuation of this trend. The talent involved is non existent; community college produces players who can emote with more genuine feeling. That being said, this film has a pretty hefty installed fan base. So did Ender’s Game, at least on paper (that’s a book joke, for those at home keeping score). It’s a coin flip, but since Lion’s Gate also owns the two highest grossing films in the YA category with Twilight and The Hunger Games, I think they have the savvy to spot a winner. Though they did just hemorrhage cash with Tyler Perry’s last outing, and have a string of flops including I, Frankenstein and The Legend of Hercules. Either this movie makes LGF their money back, or some studio exec is going to be in need of a new job very soon.
The 2000’s were a hodge-podge, with the only movie really jumping out being the DMC/Steven Seagal team-up of Exit Wounds. I guess that duo failed to ignite a franchise. Maybe they should have cribbed some notes from Steve Martin and Queen Latifah, who also scored a #1 with Bringing Down the House, alternatively titled “Steve Martin throws away his comedic legacy.” I guess he really wanted to be remembered for his banjo skills instead of well-chosen comedies.
The 90’s and 80’s remain largely unchanged, but I would like to know if anybody, anywhere, has ever seen 1983’s High Road to China with Tom Selleck. I think the strength of his mustache must have won over audiences, because I cannot find any other praise for this film. Also, Michael Keaton in 1986’s Gung Ho is another anomaly, and that’s coming from a reviewer with a particular soft spot for Keaton. Being the #1 movie in March really means didley squat is the lesson I’m taking away from This Week In Box Office History.
Information courtesy of Box Office Mojo. Used with permission.