This Week in Box Office History: Go, Go, Godzilla.

This Week in Box Office History

TWBOH takes a look at the last 30 years of top grossing movies.  Sifting through the celluloid, we review audience preferences and spot the trends in movie watching history.  This week I’m pretty pumped up to see the big green menace back on the silver screen.  The Jolly Green Giant means that much to me…But in all seriousness, I may not be able to finish a sentence this week unless the word ‘Godzilla’ is in it.  So let’s Godzilla the trend lines, and see what was Godzilla-ing this week in Box Office Godzilla.

Box Office Godzilla
Ahem. Godzilla.

The Week That Was:  Seth Rogen+Maternity = Box Office Gold.

I took last week off from making predictions (or an article, in all candor) in order to celebrate the miracle of Motherhood.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  It had nothing to do with Dark Souls 2 coming out for PC and an immoderate amount of time spent in front of the monitor dying repeatedly.  So stop spreading nasty rumors, Steam “account history” tab.

Box Office Godzilla
Just about how I spent most of my time that week.
Neighbors seth rogen
You can tell Seth is supposed to be the mature one in this photo because his penis made a baby.

The latest comedy from Seth Rogen, the rather ambiguously titled Neighbors, made an unambiguous amount of money at the theater in order to take the #1 spot last week.  This is the second title he’s made hay with that features pregnancy or maternity as one of the central premises.  We as a society need to pay more attention to the issue of man-babies having babies, it would seem.  At least Rogen thinks so, and audiences agreed.

The rest of the pack was a major disappointment.  Amazing Spider-Man 2′s take at the office was good enough for a second place finish, but it is a huge let-down for Sony.  My predictions about fan fatigue may have been on the money.

Third place went to The Other Woman, which has managed to make a respectable return on it’s investment so far.

This week featured two gigantic duds, in the conservative family value train wreck that was Mom’s Night Out (thank you, internet, for heading the call and avoiding this crud…now about those riot’s I asked for?) and chintzy animated clunker Legends of OzOz looked to have been made for about 15 cents, and no budget figures were released, but I have to hope in my heart of hearts that the horrendous 3.7 million it made in its opening week is enough to torpedo any other projects this studio may have.  That level of quality wouldn’t be acceptable in a straight to Wal-Mart DVD slush pile, and those piles contain Veggie Tales and old Steven Seagal movies.

To be honest, at this point Steven Seagal would sell his kidneys to be in a Veggie Tale movie.

The Week That Will Be:  Predictions

Amazing Spider-Ham 2
Yes, please.

#3: Amazing Spider-Ham 2.  (I wish…Peter Porker is at least an unknown quantity.  At this rate we’ll be hearing Peter Parker’s origin story every 5 years, like it or not.)  I see the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man loitering around the block one more week at least, thanks mostly to the really lack-luster releases this month.  Another 60% decline still puts this movie in the 20 million dollar range, which should be good enough for a third place finish.


#2:  Neighbors.  Despite mixed press, Rogen is pretty much a bankable comedian for the moment.  His similarly themed film, Knocked Up, declined modestly, and is almost dollar for dollar on par with his current film.  By the power of the commutative property, I can deduce that he will earn 29.7 million this week.  Take it to Vegas, people.


Box Office Godzilla
Fun loving and a gentleman to the ladies.

#1.  Godzilla.  This heartwarming tale, based on an obscure series of ecological fantasy films from Japan, features a lovable main character who goes on adventures, meets new friends, and ends up demonstrating the enduring value of respecting the Earth.  This big lug will melt your heart…and then your city.  And then he will flying suplex an evil monster into your city.  And then swim off into the Pacific like it ain’t no thang.  Get your mind prepared for the awe inspiring majesty that is Godzilla, King of the Monsters.

The previous attempt port Gojira over the water to an American setting and audience failed spectacularly.  Not even Jean Reno was able to save that catastrophe.  There are so many ways to mess up a monster movie (looking at you, Ridley Scott) it would be easy to doubt this latest reboot of the terrible lizard can live up to all the hype.  Last years excellent Pacific Rim has given Hollywood notice that you can make giant monster movies, and make them well, and all of the pre-release press looks like Warner and Toho (the Japanese studio responsible for Godzilla in his hey-day) have taken careful note.  Look for this bad boy to restore our faith in the franchise.

Box Office Godzilla
I can literally see no way this could go wrong.

Notable Movies

Box Office Godzilla
What do you mean we’re going to make more of these!

This week in history was pretty monotonous:  Super Heroes and heroes who are super (well, not including Brendan Frazier…I can’t call any of his Mummy movies super by any stretch of the imagination.)  Marvel has dominated the last decade, and even Sony projects like X-Men and Spider Man get a chance to shine this week.  Tack on bro-fuel like Mission Impossible and Van Helsing, and you have have on hell of a weekend for the makers of Doritos.

In an odd note, it seems that Porky’s is starting to give Ghost Busters and E.T. a run for the money as the longest running #1 movie of the 80’s.  There must have been a lot less to watch in 1983, because I’ve seen Porky’s, and it isn’t all that great.  The nudity isn’t even on par with other teen-hormone flicks.  I’ll take Revenge of the Nerds over Porky’s, any day.

Box Office Godzilla
I’ll drink to that!

Information courtesy of Box Office Mojo.  Used with permission.

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