This YEAR in Box Office History Part 2: Top of the Box

I quit.

This Week Year in Box Office History

Part 2:  Top of the Box

A new year is upon us, and before getting back to the grind of analyzing the top grossing films of yesteryear, let’s take a winter respite and look at the top grossing films of 2013.  See if we can spot any trends, or at least use the old societal dipstick to figure out how many dipsticks saw awful movies.  And since I’ve been away from picking weekly winners, I’m going to go way out on a limb and forecast the top grossing films…of 2014!

This YEAR in Box Office History Part 2: Top of the Box
Yes. This is actually the process I use to make picks. Deal with it.

 Top Grossing Films of 2013

hunger Games catching fire Year in Box Office History1.  The Hunger Games 2 (418 million):  Katnis outlasted imitators such as Percy Jackson, Mortal Instruments, and Ender’s Game in order to win the second Hunger Games, and took home a hefty prize at the box office.  Ironing out some of the kinks of the first film, THG 2 was a touch more polished, though uneven in its pacing, saving all of the murdering for the last 30 minutes after 90 minutes of tedious political maneuvering and playing dress up.  The main character alternated between scowling and scrunchy-faced weeping so often I wanted to slap her silly.  But it’s number one, so what can you do?

2.  Iron Man 3 (409 million):  Who knew that in our current economy people would flock to see a rich white guy who inherited his money save the world?  Tony Stark snarked his way to a hefty box office take early in the year, setting up a continuing juggernaut of Marvel Studios blockbusters.

3.  Despicable Me 2 (368 million):  This Steve Carrel voiced sequel managed to dominate, pushing fellow CG animated darling Frozen out of the top 3.  Marketed heavily on the strength of its ubiquitous minions, it succeeded where other animated sequels failed this year.

Frozen Year In Box office History
I guess a poster that included all of the political intrigue in this film would have been boring.

4.  Frozen (337 million):  Another CG animation that crushed at the box, Disney’s Frozen showed that the studio can still deliver the goods on a fairy tale story.

5.  Man of Steel (291 million):  This live action version of Sonic the Hedgehog managed to toss millions of viewers through skyscrapers, but for all of the controversy still managed to make a good chunk of change.  At 291 million, it works out to a dollar a casualty caused by Supes ludicrous strategy of fighting super villains in the heart of a populated city.  Up Up and Away, moron.


6.  Monsters University (268 million):  Pixar recovered from the Planes debacle by going back to the Monsters well, and was rewarded handsomely for it.

gravity cast year in box office history7.  Gravity (258 million):  Alfonso Cuaron’s visual masterpiece took 3D to new heights, and looks to have reignited interest in space themed sci-fi.  A win-win in my book.

8.  The Hobbit 2 (249 million):  The adventures of Legolas vs. the CG orcs managed to keep interest in the series alive.  Look for Peter Jackson to split the last remaining Hobbit movie into 3 more movies, because screw you, you keep paying for it.

9.  Fast and Furious 6 (238 million):  Vroom.  Check please.

10.  Oz The Great and Powerful (234 million):  Despite a grand and colossal meh from critics across the board, this return to Oz managed to do decently at the box office.

The Week YEAR that will be:

There are several sequels this year that will be duking it out to win the top honors, and by honors I mean money, since there isn’t a chance in hell they will get any Oscars.  Let’s prognosticate, shall we?

transformers year in box office history

#3:  Transformers 4 (300-350 million).  I begged you.  I pleaded with you.  I told you that Michael Bay could not be trusted.  Each Transformers movie has been lousier than the last.  Despite packing the bench with quality actors, Bay manages to get performances out of them that look more like a seizure than acting.  I know they kicked Shia to the curb in favor of Mark Wahlberg, for which I am eternally grateful, but this movie is still going to be an awful CG-splosion filled, convoluted story mess.  And it will make a ton of money.  They always have.  F*ck, I give up.


Teenage Mutant ninja turtles reboot this year in box office history
Goddammit. Again.

#2:  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (350-400 million).  With Pixar taking a powder this year (only fielding a mind boggling sequel to Planes…you know, the only Pixar movie to bomb?) and Disney mostly sticking to live action fare, audiences are going to be ripe for CG-animated flick for children.  The Lego Movie is a possibility, but TMNT has all of the cards:  animated, kid friendly, installed fan base, superheroes.  A Hollywood paint-by-number, the only thing that could tank this monster is advanced negative press…which is why you haven’t seen hide nor hair of a trailer, or even a movie poster.  This movie will sneak into theaters in the dead of night and steal all of the money.

The hunger Games 3 Mockingjay This year in box office history
I quit.

#1:  The Hunger Games 3:  Mockingjay Pt. 1 (400+ million).  Hands down, walk away winner.  This series has been gaining steam instead of losing it, and the final chapters of Harry Potter and Twilight were the most successful in the series too.  Slam dunk.




Honorable Mentions:

Captain America The Winter Soldier this year in box office History
This time, he’s too gritty to paint his shield…

#5Captain America:  The Winter Soldier (200-250 million).  Cap hasn’t been as successful as Iron Man, but I think the magic will rub off on him this year.  Add to this that the story actually looks good, this may be the superhero blockbuster of the year.

#4:  Interstellar (250-300 million).  Chris Nolan makes gold plated diapers, baby, and given how Gravity has awakened a hunger in audiences for visually striking space movies, I can see this film being the Gravity of 2014.

Information courtesy of Box Office Mojo.  Used with permission.

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